Frozen In Time
by PraticallyCharmed
Summary: Grief can make people change allot about themselves. One-shot.


I didn't go see Caroline when I got back to Mystic Falls. I didn't go home. I couldn't even bring myself to go to my Gram's grave.

I was at the school, swimming in the pool. My muscle burned and my heart was pounding in my ear, I haven't eaten but I could feel a cramp developing.

It would be so easy to die, no one would know, maybe no one would care either.

"Bonnie!" I heard Matt yell. Looking up, He was paces, and his face red like he's been calling my name for hours.

I continued to do my laps, ignoring him. The pain stopped me from thinking too much. I lose track of time, but in my mind I was frozen.

Gram's was dead. And I wasn't strong enough. The pool water started to get colder, even created a few waves.

Damn it, I hate magic.

"Bonnie please get out of the pool it's been an hour," Matt pleaded looking nervously at the clock. At least he stopped pacing.

Was he really here with me for hour?

"Okay," I got out the pool and the waves stopped. Matt handed me, my towel. As I dried off, I could feel his eyes on me.

I sighed."Say what's on your mind Matt"

"Caroline was worried when she couldn't find you" Matt answered. He shifted feet and put his hands in his pockets.

I should have called her. Looked down at my feet, having light brown skin made it hard to tell if I need lotion or not.

My mind was wondering but I came back to the present.

"I'm okay, tell her I'm sorry for making her worry"

Matt shook his head."I don't believe your okay"

He would know.

I noticed that he cut his blonde hair shorter, and he's been working out probably as such as I have. Maybe I'll join our swim team again.

Not likely though.

I snorted as I pulled off my swim cap."Why?"

"You cut and dyed your hair blonde"

I shrugged. Sue me if I wanted a change.

He grabbed my hand flipping it over."You have a tattoo on the inside of your wrist and you hate tattoo"

I yanked my hand out of his before he could read the tattoo my cousin Malaysia did. It was my Gram's name, birthday, death date and finale words.

You can do this, be strong. My aunt was so mad when she found out that my cousin gave me a tattoo, I didn't see Malaysia for the rest of my time in Mississippi.

"So what?" I hissed walking away from him.

I didn't get far, before black dots danced in front of my eyes. I swayed and grabbed the side of the wall. I shouldn't have moved so fast so soon.

Matt was next to me, trying to help me stand. I push him away.

I felt anger burst in my chest. "Stop okay, I don't want anyone's help"

"I can't be weak anymore" I screamed.

Everyone treated me like broken glass in Mississippi except Malaysia. I was tired of it, the pity in their eyes even though they didn't like my Grams at all.

Matt's blue eye softened."You never were,"

He's look wasn't of pity it was understanding. I guess that's why we were best friends. He knew everything, the supernatural, the Salvatore's and me being a witch. I told him.

I felt my eyes water."Stop lying, I couldn't save Vicki,I couldn't stop Damon from almost killing me, I got Elena and I caught by vampires...I got my Grams killed"

My breathing was hard, my shoulders were shaking and I couldn't stop the tears from falling down.

"I'm so weak, I can't save anyone,"

"Bonnie your the strongest person I know, you comforted me when my mom left and when Vicki died, when I didn't want anyone talk to me"

Matt continued."You did so much for Elena and Caroline, that I can't even list them all"

"I can speak for us all, that you saved us even when we didn't want to be saved" He added.

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a hug. I cried even harder into his shirt.

"Maybe your not the strongest witch but you did not kill your Grams, she had a weak heart" He whispered rubbing my back.

I nodded, she never went to the doctor's. She wouldn't want me shutting everyone. I looked up at Matt. I hate being short.

"Can I stay with you for couple of days?" I didn't want to be alone anymore.

Matt smiled."Sure I could use the company, "

And just like that my frozen time began to move again.

* * *

**A/N: Aloha, lovely people this is my second one-shot and it's a Monnie fiction. I just remember that we never saw Bonnie struggle with her Grams death, or what changed about her. I love it and I hope you guys like it too. I liked to think this happened between 1x08 and 1x09.**

**Comment please, tell me what you think of it. Mahalo**


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